Relationship Tips

Tuesday, September 14, 2010 5:57pm Written by Cathy Stevens Truitt

Ever wonder why your boyfriend or husband storms out of the room in the middle of an argument, or seems to stop listening and just tune you out?

For reasons not entirely clear, men usually have a lower tolerance for arguments than women do.  When confronted, they are faster to reach high levels of diffuse psychological arousal, or DPA.  Their heart rates increase, blood rushes to their muscles, and they can no longer engage in problem solving. Women reach these levels of arousal when arguing as well, but usually not quite as quickly.

When you and your partner are arguing, it is crucial that you honor each other's arousal levels.  If one of you is overwhelmed, forcing an interaction now will only make things worse.  Instead, call a time out and set a time to return to the discussion after you have both done something to blow off steam or relax.